Value your assets

Asked what aspects of ourselves we'd like to change, most of us have no difficulty chronicling a list of short-falls. As a result, we often end up in a perpetual state of self-loathing caused by our negative self-talk.

Next time you find yourself thinking "I'm stupid", "I'm fat", or "I'm useless", counter your self-talk with something positive such as "I'm a king person", "I'm a great mother", or I have beautiful eyes!".

Accept compliments with a simple thanks, rather than dismissing them by saying something like "I only got the job because I was lucky". Don't encourage others to have a low opinion of you by putting yourself down in front of them.

Love your body

Are you frequently self-conscious about your appearance? Does dissatisfaction with certain body parts dominate your thoughts? It's a sobering fact that 95 percent of women think they look 25 person of women think they look 25 percent bigger than they actually are.

According to Dr Rita Freedman, in her book Body Love, if you "Try to look at your reflection through the eyes of an adoring companion or nurturing parent, you will be more likely to a appreciate your body as it is. It's not beauty but self-esteem which builds, body-love, so you need to set modest goals about your appearance.

"Exercise body love. Get rid of all the clothes you've been holding on to just in case you ever manage to lose those 10 kilos. Weigh yourself once a week so your body image stops going up or down daily according to minor shifts on the scales. Engage in a realistic exercise programme at least three times a week and target those body parts you're most dissatisfied with. When you're feeling really down on your looks, do your make-up, fix your hair and put on an outfit at makes you feel drop-dead gorgeous.

Examine the women around you, in the supermarket or at the office. Notice how they don't look like supermodels? Find something attractive in each woman's appearance, whether it be a nice pair of eyes, gorgeous hair or lovely legs. Then take time to look int he mirror to remind yourself of your own beauty spots.

Self-Love

Try to avoid comparisons. Just because the ladies you know look slim, beautiful and driving the Mercedes Benz or the latest Lexus doesn't mean their life is happy. It's a mistake to think everything would be better if only you were someone else. "This brings about a constant internal battle between our desires and our frustrations at not getting them" says Frank Faller in his best-selling book Re-Create Yourself. "but the open person knows that status is fragile, whereas human potential is limitless." In short, everyone has individual talents and you're no exception.

Write down a realistic wish-list of personal and life desires, which includes short-term, medium and long-range goals. Your list might say anything from "Get in shape" to "Go on holiday".Pick a few goals to focus on and divide them into sub-tasks. Under "getting in shape" you might write "jog for half an hour three times a week". Under "Go on holiday" you might suggest "dropping into a travel agent to pick up brochures".Make each goal as detailed and specific as you can and set time frames, so you feel motivated to get moving.Once you're on the way to fulfilling your own dreams, you'll no longer find yourself paling in comparison to everyone else.

What grief represents?

I'm sure many of us have experienced grief at least once in our life time. Grief has many faces. People often wonder whether their reaction to the loss of a loved one is normal. For those who have gone through this yourself, may find it helpful to hear what grief represents.

Grief Can Be Physical - many people feel a physical sense of loss and even physical pain. Besides tears, grief can bring on a sense of physical emptiness, a loss of appetite or heaviness or pain in your chest. It may interfere with your ability to sleep or concentrate, make you forgetful or give you a sense of restlessness or loss.

Grief Can Be Confusing - Conflicting emotions arise when someone dies. You may experience intense love, anger and resentment or guilt about wanting to continue living yourself. You may feel overwhelmed by your feelings, even the smallest ones but at the same time feel very disconnected from the experience of your loss or from other people.

Grief Can Seem Overwhelming - Being preoccupied with everything about the one you have lost is very common. You may think about this person all the time, dream about him or her, suddenly feel overwhelmed by the pain of the loss or even feel that he or she is still alive.
You may feel regret about things that did or did not happen and start remembering things about the person that you thought were long forgotten.

Grief Brings Uncertainties - Questioning what you are doing with your life; not being interested in things that usually engage you and feeling suddenly angry or sullen about others are all normal reactions to loss.

CAUGHT InThe WEB!!!

My husband of 13 years has been using the computer for about ten months. He started playing checkers before moving online. Now all he does is sit at the computer. What shall I do?"
"He told me our marriage was over about a week after he met a cyber lover. We had enjoyed a wonderful relationship until he started getting online. Is there any hope?"
These cries for help were posted on an Internet addiction message board by two 'cyber widows' and they are not alone. Lives are being ruined by Internet addiction.

According to psychologist, there are five type of Internet addition.
1. Cyber Sexual, addiction to chat rooms or cyber porn.
2. Cyber Relationships, replacing real partners and friendships with those made in chat
rooms or newsgroups and having cyber affairs.
3. Net Compulsions, addiction to online gambling, auctions or shopping.
4. Information Overload, compulsive web surfing.
5. Computer Addiction, especially to computer programmes and games.
Research shows that middle-aged women and unemployed people are the most vulnerable to Internet addiction, while men are most likely to suffer addiction to cybersex and online games.
"On the Internet, you can conceal your real name, age, occupation and physical appearance. Internet users, especially those who are lonely and insecure in real-life situation, take that freedom and quickly pour out their strongest feelings, darkest secrets and deepest desires."
Cyber affairs and using the Internet to avoid relationship issues can be very destructive to a partnership says relationships experts.
It's a very powerful place for people who are socially anxious because they can control their personalities and hide any embarrassment. Some users become so engaged with the screen that they ignore their body's signals.
These are the tell tale signs of a cyber addiction. They are:
1. using online service everyday.
2. losing track of time spent on the Net.
3. going out less and less.
4. eating in front of the computer.
5. denying spending too much time on the Internet, even when others complained.
6. checking for e-mails constantly.
7. logging on when busy at work.
8. sneaking online when alone.
9. experiencing a sense of well-being or euphoria while at the computer.
10. craving more and more time to log on.
11. neglecting family and friends.
12. feeling empty, depressed and irritable when not at the computer.
13. lying about activities to employers, friends and family.
14. having problems concentrating at work or at school.

Well, are we OR are we not considered a cyber addict. Come to think of it, we blog everyday and we spent more than an hour on the internet. So, what do you think?

For those over 40 years Old...

Live in the here and now , not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle and change the things of today. Yesterday is gone and Tomorrow may never come.

Today is the most important day of your life . You have a full 24 hours to achieve great accomplishments. So make the most of it.

Yesterday is gone and you cannot turn back the clock. Do not dealt on yesterday's glory for it is history. It is just like technology of yesterday. The black and white television is no longer in demand, so no matter how great it was, it is not in use anymore. The past is past and you should let it be.
Tomorrow is the future and nobody knows what holds in the future. Like the present, it is no use planning for 10 years ahead for tomorrow, the environment may change or a new technology may render the present totally redundant.

What matters most is TODAY , for it is TODAY that you are able to do something for yourself, for your love ones and for all.