R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Respect versus popularity, this is a dilemma we all have to face at work sooner or later. It's the old conflict between being professional and being personal. We want to do a good job, but we want to be friends with everyone, to. The truth is, though, you can't always be liked if you do your job properly. And the desire to keep everyone happy can become a weakness, even an Achilles heel.

Worry about what others think makes us reactive when we need to be proactive. At worst, we're so busy playing Pollyanna we lose sight of the demands of the job and our own needs. This is a particular problem area for female professionals. It's a hangover from childhood. We all long to be the most popular girl in the school. Also girls are brought up to try to please and to keep everyone happy, especially men. Later on, this need to be liked gets in the way of career progress. Men at work don't give a thought to what others think so long as they get their own way.

Card connection

The next time someone hands you their business card, don't just slip it into your purse and forget about it. You could be missing out on an opportunity to network your way into a new career. So make sure:

• When you're given a card, write on the back where ad when you met the person. Note down how they might be useful to you in the future.

• Jot down any personal details or anecdotes. It can act as an ice breaker the next time you meet.

• If the person is a potential business contact or could help you with a future career move, note it down in your diary to ring them within the week and mention you enjoyed meeting them. Don't be pushy, just polite and direct.
  

Career launch pad

Every young girl's life is dotted with a lot of (to her mind) interesting things. She is worried about examinations and grades, about pimples and split ends, about hair on her legs, about breasts , about her height. She aches to be liked. She wants approval form all quarters. She is worried about appearing and sounding awkward about malign the wrong decisions.

The future appears crammed with choices and every girl knows that she would ultimately ave to decide on something. Every girl wakes up with a jolt and realists that shaving her legs is not the only chore she has to face in life. It is not an easy phase. At age 16, any thing and everything can appear attractive. dreams overlap, interest emerge. The sight of a smart uniform can draw a girl's attention to certain profession, meeting an impeccably groomed business-woman can make a teenager fantasies about building an empire.

Arriving at some definite, clearly etched plan is doubly hard if a daughter has been raised "to be accomplished." At 16, a girl may dance a bit of ballet, play the piano, to be keen about the theater, speak a foreign language, name the generals who fought in which war, know in which part of the world La Paz is. Having made to dabble in many things, she is drawn to as many things.

Lucky is the daughter who has parents who insist on many positive interests but who also manage to help her discover early where she might just excel an be happy. Fortunate is the woman who finds a niche in a chosen field and who in here spare time can play a symphony or restore vase or combat clay soil.

Losing your job

Work is a potential source of worry. This is not only due to the fact that we need it to earn money to support ourselves but also because a large part of our identity and self-esteem is wrapped up in our jobs. we also develop friendships around work. The fact that there are now fewer jobs for life, more contract work and self-employment increase worry.

Communication is very important. If you have any concern at work, it is often better to discuss them with your manager, a colleague you can trust or personnel rather than keeping them bottled up say a stress management consultant, Caroline Raymond.

Taking action to improve your job prospects will also help to ease any worries. make sure your CV is up to date, learn new skills, take advantage of networking opportunities and keep abreast of vacancies. Finally, maintain a balance in your life so that your job isn't the be-a, and end-all. Don't lose touch with friends, keep up hobbies or simply distract yourself by reading a good book int he evenings.

Careers

Most people who seek employment initially think only of the pay packet - landing something that would give them the salary they desire. On the other hand,career they desire. On the other hand, career orientated individuals think of transforming an assigned desk into a ladder up which they can climb, the job becomes a consuming interest, a major preoccupation, a king of battleground where they can prove their strengths.

A job is plain and simple work. you do it and you get paid for it. A career is a job you work harder at so that it can take you further (up), broaden your world, win you recognition and in turn bring you bigger rewards. The best thing that a career can give you is a sense of accomplishment, the fulfilling realization that you have grown in the job, that your mind has improved vastly and that your understanding of the job has sharpened.

Career minded people never stop learning. There is the widespread notion that those who are always talking about promotion and demanding to be recognized are all serious about Career. Not always. There are those who want to get ahead only because getting ahead usually means more money. They forget the high cost of getting ahead and staying ahead ie Hard Work, Dedication, Long Hours, Parties & Picnics Missed, Complaining Mates, Intrigues & Office Politic. In short, a lot of Hassle. Of course there are the rewards for one's efforts and tangible rewards come in the form of special bonuses, extra privileges and titles.

Almost any job can be turned into a career. It is all a matter of attitude and direction. Either you allow a job to carry you and you get bogged down by it or you carry it towards gratifying heights. if you decided to manipulated work to make it spice up the rest of your life, you get yourself a career. Selling, sailing, bookkeeping, fashion designing, cooking, baking, flower arranging, store management, gardening. You choice can bring you untold joys provided you are determined to follow through a pan of action. Whatever it is, you've got to sweat quite a bit.

What about money? Part 3

In negotiation with your potential employer, he or she may do either of two things. Suggest a compromise and offer you fifty percent of the amount in question. Remember that he is a businessman and is apt to feel sore if he does not win even a semblance of areal bargain. It is up to you decide.

Since yo are very raw, I suggest you say YES. After all, if you get to be the hotshot that you think you would eventually be, you would have all the grand time negotiation and re-negotiating with very interested parties. Or your interviewer may say he would think about it and then turn around and hire a second choice for much less. You lose your chance but think about it this way, you have been saved for much a cheap thinker and cheap thinkers are usually dull, unimaginative, style-less employers. There's a better world for a bright, really keyed-up girl like you.

Now if your personal assessment form leaves a bit to be desired, think of you first job as a real training and testing ground. Settle for the opportunity to gain some experience. Then try to polish yourself on the job. When you have gained some polish, you can mer-negotiate. If you find yourself in a place where growth and development are ignored, start looking for a better deal. Give the job a year or two, enough for you to sharpen skills an then voe. However, try to find a place where you can stay a bit longer and form roots. Remember that the fun in having a career is in being able to chart out your working life and it is easier to trace your growth if you are not busy hopping around.

Ways to avoid stress.

According to professional stress consultants, the first step to beat stress is cut down on the caffeine. It keeps people on an emotional roller-coaster as they lurch from caffeine hit to caffeine hit. Instead drink lots of water.

• For instant relief, keep a small bottle of famous stress-beaters such as lavender essential oil and use them when the going gets tough.
• Learning to breath properly. When we are stressed, we often hold out breath. Deep breathing is essential. Close your eyes and switch off for a minute, breathing deeply and calmly while you focus on yourself.
• Learn to say 'NO'. Practise "no", a word that women especially, seem to have trouble articulating.'
• Keep an uncluttered environment. An untidy work space makes you feel like your mind's cluttered and leads to a feeling of lack of control. spending just a few minutes each day sorting, filing throwing things away can clear your head and send stress levels plummeting. Don't react so impulsively.
  
• Don't watch the news. Bad and distressing events on the news often makes you feel stressed and helpless. Read a book instead.
  
• Get enough sleep. A priority. Stress and insomnia can be a vicious circle but if yo learn some end-of-day wind-down techniques that will help you to sleep better, you are likely to find your stress level improves enormously.

Good stress

Some stress professionals suggested learning tricks for turning life's hurdles into opportunities. In fact, we all need a certain amount of stress in order to function well. Andrew Slaby, MD, American author of several stress handbooks, observes; "The fires that lead to burnout also fuel success. Conversely, the formula for success can be the same as a formula for nervous breakdown. The difference is your perspective."

Dr.David Lewis, a stress-busting psychologist who has run workshops for companies such as IBM, explains that there are two kinds of stress; good (for which the word eustress was coined) and bad stress (or distress). "If the phone rings, it's stress. If it's a bill collector calling, it's distress. If it's some offering you a better job,it's good stress. We need some stress to get us going ,but not so much that stop us functioning."

Stress Out!

This was supposed to be the decade we finally got to put our feet up. Discovered hobbies. Found ourselves with time on our hands. And it didn't happen. Just try to think of a woman who isn't suffering from a bad case of too much to do, too little time. According to Anne Woodham, author of Beating Stress At Work, it's worse for women, "because we have to juggle two roles. A woman might have a high-flying job but it's likely she then has to go home and run a house and the whole thing can fall apart because the nanny's sick. Even if you're not actually doing the caring, you're organizing it. It's very common for women to feel like they're not fulfilling any one role to the best of their abilities but instead being spread around like a very thick layer of margarine."

Another factor, women may feel they have to perform better and try harder to prove they really were the right choice for the job even if that pressure exists only in their heads. As a result, we are all, to a degree, the girl who can't say no.

Everyone has a personal stress limit beyond which cracking the whip will lead to burnout. The number one cause of stress for people working in tech office is , the office. In a survey of over 5,000 office workers in 16 countries, conducted by Harris Research for Associates for Research into the Science of Enjoyment, on in five people said they've taken time of work through stress. One in three said they were currently under stress at work an nearly half said the amount of stress had worsened in the last two years. work was higher up the list stress-triggers than money worries (29 percent) and family worries (20 per cent).