Make romance work - 3

Have some faith. Rebounds can turn into real love. Sue, a 31 year old met Tom in a coffee bar just a few weeks after the love of her life trampled her heart. "I didn't give Tom my phone number but the following week, he put a personal ad in the local paper looking for me, so i called him and went out with him. He didn't look like someone I would be with and I'd been so hurt by my boyfriend that i didn't know if I liked him.

In fact, he seemed kind of arrogant and he never asked me questions about myself. "It turned out he was being 'sensitive' - he knew I was still hurting from my last relationship. But I waited long time before introducing him to my friends or trusting him. Then slowly I started to really love him. Now he's my best friend and I'm very happy."

Making romance work 2

Take an emotional inventory. You've done your research on this guy, so you feel you know him. You've kept your distance both emotionally and physically, so you've begun to think you can let your guard down a little.

Now, you need to take another close look - this time, at your own emotions. Taking stock, especially in a rebound relationship, will help you get a clear idea of exactly where the romance is headed, if anywhere.

Making romance work!

You're still reeling from your last romance, but this new guy seems so special. Should you take a risk?

Before you even let yourself get excited at the prospect of a new romance, figure out who the hell this guy is. Do it by watching him carefully and by asking him questions.

Get to know his attitudes and history and let him get to know you. The longer you hold off on sex, the better.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Arlene Kagle offers this metaphor; "walk in the way you'd walk into Bosnia. There are land mines here and you don't want to step on them. Take a step" Don't see him every night after you first met and if that works out, take another half-step."
If you start to feel addicted,talk to your friends. Pull back.