Losing your job

Work is a potential source of worry. This is not only due to the fact that we need it to earn money to support ourselves but also because a large part of our identity and self-esteem is wrapped up in our jobs. we also develop friendships around work. The fact that there are now fewer jobs for life, more contract work and self-employment increase worry.

Communication is very important. If you have any concern at work, it is often better to discuss them with your manager, a colleague you can trust or personnel rather than keeping them bottled up say a stress management consultant, Caroline Raymond.

Taking action to improve your job prospects will also help to ease any worries. make sure your CV is up to date, learn new skills, take advantage of networking opportunities and keep abreast of vacancies. Finally, maintain a balance in your life so that your job isn't the be-a, and end-all. Don't lose touch with friends, keep up hobbies or simply distract yourself by reading a good book int he evenings.

Value your assets

Asked what aspects of ourselves we'd like to change, most of us have no difficulty chronicling a list of short-falls. As a result, we often end up in a perpetual state of self-loathing caused by our negative self-talk.

Next time you find yourself thinking "I'm stupid", "I'm fat", or "I'm useless", counter your self-talk with something positive such as "I'm a king person", "I'm a great mother", or I have beautiful eyes!".

Accept compliments with a simple thanks, rather than dismissing them by saying something like "I only got the job because I was lucky". Don't encourage others to have a low opinion of you by putting yourself down in front of them.

Relationship breakdown

These issues concern us because we invest so much time, effort and personal security in a relationship. If a woman has low self-esteem, she may believe her partner will leave her for someone better. Sometimes this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy as she drives her partner away by becoming too 'clingy'.

Ask yourself if there's evidence the relationship is going wrong and tell your partner how you feel. According to relationship counsellor Denise Knowles, "Talk to your partner frequently and honestly about your relationship - airing the good and bad points." If you can't find any reason for your concern, you may just need to boost your self-esteem, perhaps by taking an assertiveness course. It may also help to look back at your own life to pinpoint the root of the problem, for instance did you have a stable home life? Did your parents fight a lot? Knowing will help you deal with them. If you can't do this alone, a counsellor will be able to help.

Be inspired by others

In related to my previous post on setting goals and taking charge of your life so that you can be a winner with the right frame of mind. Well, you can also be motivated through the inspiration of others.

Take the braille system for example. There was a blind boy in France named Louis Braille who dreamed of inventing a system that would enable blind people like him to read and write. he invented the braille system which is used by million of blind pole all over the world. Great ideas and inventions always stared with people who had visions and worked hard to make them come true.

Once you've got your goals sorted out, try visualizing them. They become a reality in the mind and you are psyched up to attain it. Reading biographies of successful people can be inspirational. Abraham Lincoln endured many failures before he finally became the President of the United States. when you read his so try, you do not remember the failures. You only remember his spirit which never gave up.

Motivational books like Stephen Covey's Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, M.Scott Peck's The Road Less Travelled and napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich give insight on how to plan strategies to achieve your ambition.

Some people believe that destiny is in our hands while others believe that fate decides everything. There is something to think about in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, "The fault, dear Brutus is not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings "Where do you stand?

Positive thinking

While affirmation is self-talk to make you feel good, positive thinking is as process where you train yourself to look at things in a positive way. if our thoughts are positive, they will be a precursor to positive feelings and actions. But there are times when our feelings are down because we have not maintained positive actions and as such, no matter how much we chant to our selves,"think positive', it will not necessarily help bring positive feelings.

Make it a habit to accomplish or participate in at least one activity which you really enjoy and want to do. It could be anything, whether a telephone conversation with a girlfriend or gardening. such an activity triggers off good feelings which become a catalyst to telling yourself in your thoughts that 'I feel wonderful" and as such, a chain reaction is created.

Once you start feeling positive and doing positive actions, you will be able to look at the good points of others. Instead of complaining that your boss is fussy, you could perhaps look at it another way and say that he is a perfectionist and working under him has taught you to aim for high standards. Once you start looking at the good in others, you become a positive power point.
People usually like to be around those who emit a lot of positive feelings. It makes them feel good. But if you act as though you are the prophet of doom, people will start avoiding you.

If you are the type who finds it hard to see the good in others, try this simple exercise. Start a 'good rumor campaign' where you make it a point to say something nice about the people around you at least twice a week. Once you start this, you will find that it becomes easier to see the good in others.

Affirmations

In wanting to improve yourself you must believe in three things: "I can change", "I am going to do so today" and "I'm going to do it step by step."

This where affirmation comes in. Remember the story of the little train which managed to pull several coaches up the hill despite its small size? The little train kept say to itself, "I think I can, I think I can..." and finally it did. This story teaches you that by constantly tellign yourself that you ca succeed, you will!

Affirmations are positive sayings and thoughts which make one feel good. According to a psychologist, affirmations are important part of our self-talk and belief system. "If we do not believe that we can do something or achieve something in terms of our minds, then what others say will not have any consequences." How do affirmations work towards boosting your self-image?

According to scientist, the brain can be programmed to think according to th messages that are constantly planted in the mind. By constantly saying affirmations, you help your mind to break the pattern of thinking negative thoughts. This of course, does not happen overnight. It will take some time before you begin to feel the a effect of affirmations in your mind and through your actions.

Importance of self-esteem

Chinese New Year is just around the corner. It will be the year of the Rat. For Chinese that believe in Feng Shui, they will try their best to follow the Feng Shui method of ushering the Chinese New Year so as to enhance the best sector for prosperity and wealth. Others make New year resolutions. I am tired of making New Year resolutions which I don't really keep. Some believe that their life is controlled by forces that are beyond them. Are you?

Many of us go through life without any proper planning and leave everything to chance and good fortune. Don't sit around and wait for things to happen instead, make things happened for you! The beginning of the year is a good time to re-examine your life, review past mistakes and plan for the future. You can start making the difference by staring with yourself. According to Richard Ritchie,a lecturer at the Silva Method of Mind Control, "You have to learn how to change your self-image. If you can't love yourself, how can you be expected to see good things in others?" So how do you see yourself?

A good self-image is the corner-stone of a person's success. You may have the talent and intelligence to succeed but if you see yourself as a loser, then no matter what you do, you'll always be one. As clinical psychologist Ms Kana Kanagasingam explained, "Our thoughts are very much associated with our feelings." Low self-esteem can be destructive. It increases feelings of insecurity, paranoia and unhappiness. In extreme cases it can lead to aggression and other negative behaviors like alcoholism.

Other people's negative perception of yourself can also hurt your self-esteem. Don't believe in people's assumption of yourself especially the negative ones which you know are not true. There are ways to increase your self-esteem. First, you have to be honest with yourself. What do you think are your good and bad points? Only if you are consciously aware that there are hang-ups and issues, can you confront them and start thinking of ways to solve the problems.