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Asked what aspects of ourselves we'd like to change, most of us have no difficulty chronicling a list of short-falls. As a result, we often end up in a perpetual state of self-loathing caused by our negative self-talk.
Are you frequently self-conscious about your appearance? Does dissatisfaction with certain body parts dominate your thoughts? It's a sobering fact that 95 percent of women think they look 25 person of women think they look 25 percent bigger than they actually are. 
Try to avoid comparisons. Just because the ladies you know look slim, beautiful and driving the Mercedes Benz or the latest Lexus doesn't mean their life is happy. It's a mistake to think everything would be better if only you were someone else. "This brings about a constant internal battle between our desires and our frustrations at not getting them" says Frank Faller in his best-selling book Re-Create Yourself. "but the open person knows that status is fragile, whereas human potential is limitless." In short, everyone has individual talents and you're no exception.
Write down a realistic wish-list of personal and life desires, which includes short-term, medium and long-range goals. Your list might say anything from "Get in shape" to "Go on holiday".Pick a few goals to focus on and divide them into sub-tasks. Under "getting in shape" you might write "jog for half an hour three times a week". Under "Go on holiday" you might suggest "dropping into a travel agent to pick up brochures".Make each goal as detailed and specific as you can and set time frames, so you feel motivated to get moving.Once you're on the way to fulfilling your own dreams, you'll no longer find yourself paling in comparison to everyone else.
Live in the here and now ,
not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle and change the things of today. Yesterday is gone and Tomorrow may never come.
Today is the most important day of your life . You have a full 24 hours to achieve great accomplishments. So make the most of it.
Yesterday is gone 
and you cannot turn back the clock. Do not dealt on yesterday's glory for it is history. It is just like technology of yesterday. The black and white television is no longer in demand, so no matter how great it was, it is not in use anymore. The past is past and you should let it be.
Tomorrow is the future and nobody knows what holds in the future.
Like the present, it is no use planning for 10 years ahead for tomorrow, the environment may change or a new technology may render the present totally redundant.
What matters most is TODAY , for it is TODAY that you are able to do something for yourself, for your love ones and for all.
A smile cost nothing but creates much. It enriches those who receive without impoverish in those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes last forever.
None are so rich they can get along without it and none so poor but both are richer for its benefits. It creates happiness in the home, foster good will in a business and is the countersign of friends.
It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad and nature's best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody until it is given away.
Nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give.
These issues concern us because we invest so much time, effort and personal security in a relationship. If a woman has low self-esteem, she may believe her partner will leave her for someone better. Sometimes this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy as she drives her partner away by becoming too 'clingy'.
Ask yourself if there's evidence the relationship is going wrong and tell your partner how you feel. According to relationship counsellor Denise Knowles, "Talk to your partner frequently and honestly about your relationship - airing the good and bad points." If you can't find any reason for your concern, you may just need to boost your self-esteem, perhaps by taking an assertiveness course. It may also help to look back at your own life to pinpoint the root of the problem, for instance did you have a stable home life? Did your parents fight a lot? Knowing will help you deal with them. If you can't do this alone, a counsellor will be able to help.
Want to improve the look of your eyes (and eyesight)? Try giving them a workout. If you're into yoga, then you're probably already practicing some eye exercises which can help reduce the appearance of bags and delay wrinkles. You may want to consider yoga for other health benefits as well but consider the following basic exercises that will strengthen the eye muscles an increase their flexibility.
You dress your age and act your age but are you as 'with it' when it comes to handling your cash? Money is money is money. The more you earn and the more you save, the better, right? Not really, money is more like a toolbox and if you don't use the right tool at the right time, you can be sure all kinds of expensive breakdowns, accidents and leaks will happen along your journey through life and when you least expect it. Well recession is here.
The only thing that's constant in life is change. So with the different situations that arise at every stage in our life, how then can we prepare for these. How do we handle our money smartly so that we might be able to fulfill that dream of retiring at the grand young age of 45 and able to spend lazy days at cafes, working on the first novel and sipping lattes.
No matter what your age, you should be prepared to take the proverbial stock market 'Bull' by its horns and 'Bear' in mind what you need to do whether you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond. Society's development has a lot of do with the necessity for money smarts. Recent statistics show that more females than males were widowed due to women's longer life expectancy rates. While divorce rates have doubled, women are less likely than men to get re-married and more likely to be single parents (imagine running a household on your own income and bringing up kids at the same time). What's more, one in five females above age 30 is single, so don't wait for Prince Charming to come waving his Platinum card.
The trick lies in learning how to plug the holes that could drain the contents of your wallet, so to speak. Or as they say (about things unrelated to finance, but which, funnily enough, also applies to money), "It's not the size or age that matters, it's how you use it".
According to professional stress consultants, the first step to beat stress is cut down on the caffeine. It keeps people on an emotional roller-coaster as they lurch from caffeine hit to caffeine hit. Instead drink lots of water.
Some stress professionals suggested learning tricks for turning life's hurdles into opportunities. In fact, we all need a certain amount of stress in order to function well. Andrew Slaby, MD, American author of several stress handbooks, observes; "The fires that lead to burnout also fuel success. Conversely, the formula for success can be the same as a formula for nervous breakdown. The difference is your perspective."
Dr.David Lewis, a stress-busting psychologist who has run workshops for companies such as IBM, explains that there are two kinds of stress; good (for which the word eustress was coined) and bad stress (or distress). "If the phone rings, it's stress. If it's a bill collector calling, it's distress. If it's some offering you a better job,it's good stress. We need some stress to get us going ,but not so much that stop us functioning."
According to Anne Woodham, author of Beating stress at work, "In the UK, an estimated 270,000 people take time off every day because of stress0erlated illness, a cumulative cost in sick pay and lost production of around 7 billion pound a year and rising. These are just reported cases.
Doctors' surgeries are filled with sufferers from countless illnesses that often fall into the category of 'stress-related' like high blood pressure, anxiety, ulcers, depression, tension, exhaustion, insomnia, diabetes, eczema. PMT can also worsen when we're under high pressure. Ultimately, in fact, it's believed that stress can depress the immune system, leaving us prey to every bout of cold and 'flu (or more serious complaints) many of us manage conveniently, to schedule those illnesses for our free time, a syndrome that's recognized by doctors. Work till Friday, get a cold on Saturday, back to work Monday..
There are those brave enough to risk black marks against their names for daring to complain while their colleagues put up with equally stressful workloads. But suing your boss could become the latest bandwagon. According to Anne, "stress occurs when life's out of control and suing your boss is within your power." Some stress professionals suggested learning tricks for turning life's hurdles into opportunities.
This was supposed to be the decade we finally got to put our feet up. Discovered hobbies. Found ourselves with time on our hands. And it didn't happen. Just try to think of a woman who isn't suffering from a bad case of too much to do, too little time. According to Anne Woodham, author of Beating Stress At Work, it's worse for women, "because we have to juggle two roles. A woman might have a high-flying job but it's likely she then has to go home and run a house and the whole thing can fall apart because the nanny's sick. Even if you're not actually doing the caring, you're organizing it. It's very common for women to feel like they're not fulfilling any one role to the best of their abilities but instead being spread around like a very thick layer of margarine."
Another factor, women may feel they have to perform better and try harder to prove they really were the right choice for the job even if that pressure exists only in their heads. As a result, we are all, to a degree, the girl who can't say no.
Everyone has a personal stress limit beyond which cracking the whip will lead to burnout. The number one cause of stress for people working in tech office is , the office. In a survey of over 5,000 office workers in 16 countries, conducted by Harris Research for Associates for Research into the Science of Enjoyment, on in five people said they've taken time of work through stress. One in three said they were currently under stress at work an nearly half said the amount of stress had worsened in the last two years. work was higher up the list stress-triggers than money worries (29 percent) and family worries (20 per cent).
If you've never made goals in your life, it's not too late? If you find that you can never stick to long-term planning, start training yourself in short term planning. It could be as simple as assigning yourself one or two tasks that you have to do everyday and jot it down in your diary. Make sure you achieve it! Jot down little details like the steps you took and the time taken to accomplish the tasks. Little accomplishments like these will be strong incentives for you to go to other things.
Perhaps you can plan for two weeks in advance and then gradually increase it until you've become quite an expert at planning for a whole year! Review your goals constantly. If you've been unsuccessful in some, it doesn't mean you're a failure. it could be because the goals were too ambitious and the time set was too short.
Redefine your goals and start all over again. Write you goals in a small card and carry it with you so that you'll be sure to see it everyday. Being constantly reminded of them will spur you to work harder to achieve the goals. Also remember that once you've decide, start working towards them from today and don't wait for tomorrow!
In related to my previous post on setting goals and taking charge of your life so that you can be a winner with the right frame of mind. Well, you can also be motivated through the inspiration of others.
Take the braille system for example. There was a blind boy in France named Louis Braille who dreamed of inventing a system that would enable blind people like him to read and write. he invented the braille system which is used by million of blind pole all over the world. Great ideas and inventions always stared with people who had visions and worked hard to make them come true.
Once you've got your goals sorted out, try visualizing them. They become a reality in the mind and you are psyched up to attain it. Reading biographies of successful people can be inspirational. Abraham Lincoln endured many failures before he finally became the President of the United States. when you read his so try, you do not remember the failures. You only remember his spirit which never gave up.
Motivational books like Stephen Covey's Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, M.Scott Peck's The Road Less Travelled and napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich give insight on how to plan strategies to achieve your ambition.
Some people believe that destiny is in our hands while others believe that fate decides everything. There is something to think about in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, "The fault, dear Brutus is not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings "Where do you stand?
Here's an expert advise. Once you've gone through your goals, set a timetable. How long will you take to achieve those goals - one year, five years or maybe more. Let's assume you have five goals. Ask yourself whether you can achieve all those goals in one year or will it take several years? Can one of the goals be reached earlier than others? Have a short-term and long-term goals. The short-term goals could be for one year and long-term goals could cover a period of five years and more. The most difficult stage is planning your actions to achieve that goal. You have to pay attention to details.
Take this for example, your goal is to go overseas to further your education but your parents aren't rich. Plan where you are going to find the money. Can you rely on some financial help from relatives? Do you have enough saving of your own or do you have to work for several years? Will you be too old by then? Can you get a bank loan?
Finally, ask yourself, with the dire financial straits that you are in, does this goal seem too unrealistic at this moment. Are there any alternatives, like an external degree perhaps?
While affirmation is self-talk to make you feel good, positive thinking is as process where you train yourself to look at things in a positive way. if our thoughts are positive, they will be a precursor to positive feelings and actions. But there are times when our feelings are down because we have not maintained positive actions and as such, no matter how much we chant to our selves,"think positive', it will not necessarily help bring positive feelings.
Make it a habit to accomplish or participate in at least one activity which you really enjoy and want to do. It could be anything, whether a telephone conversation with a girlfriend or gardening. such an activity triggers off good feelings which become a catalyst to telling yourself in your thoughts that 'I feel wonderful" and as such, a chain reaction is created.
Once you start feeling positive and doing positive actions, you will be able to look at the good points of others. Instead of complaining that your boss is fussy, you could perhaps look at it another way and say that he is a perfectionist and working under him has taught you to aim for high standards. Once you start looking at the good in others, you become a positive power point.
People usually like to be around those who emit a lot of positive feelings. It makes them feel good. But if you act as though you are the prophet of doom, people will start avoiding you.
If you are the type who finds it hard to see the good in others, try this simple exercise. Start a 'good rumor campaign' where you make it a point to say something nice about the people around you at least twice a week. Once you start this, you will find that it becomes easier to see the good in others.
Every time you open any book on self-improvement, everyone emphasizes, everyone emphasizes the importance of having goals. A survey done in the United States showed that the top three percent of successful businessmen and corporate executives had their goals written down.
Five to 10 per cent had a rough idea of what they wanted, whereas the rest never had any goals and just went along with the tide. We have at one time or other set goals for ourselves too. When we were young, many of us probably wanted to be a doctor or lawyer or live in a big house with 10 servants. I remember that I wanted to be a famous actor when I was young. So what happened to us now? We set our goals but never did anything to make them come true.
According to expert, setting goals is not just a matter of thinking what we want to become or do. It is about planning and working towards making those goals come true. Write down your goals on a piece of paper and examine them. Bear two things in mind when you write your goals; are they really necessary? (Do you really need 10 servants) Once you start putting them on paper you'll be surprised how many of them aren't important.
In wanting to improve yourself you must believe in three things: "I can change", "I am going to do so today" and "I'm going to do it step by step."
This where affirmation comes in. Remember the story of the little train which managed to pull several coaches up the hill despite its small size? The little train kept say to itself, "I think I can, I think I can..." and finally it did. This story teaches you that by constantly tellign yourself that you ca succeed, you will!
Affirmations are positive sayings and thoughts which make one feel good. According to a psychologist, affirmations are important part of our self-talk and belief system. "If we do not believe that we can do something or achieve something in terms of our minds, then what others say will not have any consequences." How do affirmations work towards boosting your self-image?
According to scientist, the brain can be programmed to think according to th messages that are constantly planted in the mind. By constantly saying affirmations, you help your mind to break the pattern of thinking negative thoughts. This of course, does not happen overnight. It will take some time before you begin to feel the a effect of affirmations in your mind and through your actions.
A basic idea for a business could come from a hobby or special interest. Or, it could be a spin-off from your present occupation. Many successful businesses also come from the question, "why isn't there a...?" or "Why must this be so expensive? Couldn't it be made more affordable?"
A classic case is that of the Memory Land cards. Many were whining that cards with nice wordings were so expensive because most of them were imported. Then someone went and id something about it and of course, became a successful entrepreneur. An idea of an enterprise could also come when one sees a new way of deign ordinary thins or observes a need for a certain service. Technological advances or changes in society also open up avenues.
Chinese New Year is just around the corner. It will be the year of the Rat. For Chinese that believe in Feng Shui, they will try their best to follow the Feng Shui method of ushering the Chinese New Year so as to enhance the best sector for prosperity and wealth. Others make New year resolutions. I am tired of making New Year resolutions which I don't really keep. Some believe that their life is controlled by forces that are beyond them. Are you?
Many of us go through life without any proper planning and leave everything to chance and good fortune. Don't sit around and wait for things to happen instead, make things happened for you! The beginning of the year is a good time to re-examine your life, review past mistakes and plan for the future. You can start making the difference by staring with yourself. According to Richard Ritchie,a lecturer at the Silva Method of Mind Control, "You have to learn how to change your self-image. If you can't love yourself, how can you be expected to see good things in others?" So how do you see yourself?
A good self-image is the corner-stone of a person's success. You may have the talent and intelligence to succeed but if you see yourself as a loser, then no matter what you do, you'll always be one. As clinical psychologist Ms Kana Kanagasingam explained, "Our thoughts are very much associated with our feelings." Low self-esteem can be destructive. It increases feelings of insecurity, paranoia and unhappiness. In extreme cases it can lead to aggression and other negative behaviors like alcoholism.
Other people's negative perception of yourself can also hurt your self-esteem. Don't believe in people's assumption of yourself especially the negative ones which you know are not true. There are ways to increase your self-esteem. First, you have to be honest with yourself. What do you think are your good and bad points? Only if you are consciously aware that there are hang-ups and issues, can you confront them and start thinking of ways to solve the problems.
Many of us dream of having a million bucks in the bank. We wonder how some people seem to achieve it quite simply.
Well, the Dreamer's Guide to Becoming A millionaire by James Matthison lists five ways to increase your chances of becoming super-rich.
Married today, divorce tomorrow. Hollywood celebrities are doing it. No big deal. People I know are getting divorce even at the elderly age of 56. Friends and relative have gone through divorce.
Once a taboo thing in Asian countries, but as we adapt more Western culture in our lives, the word divorce is not a 'big' issue among couples any longer. The number of divorces is becoming high. Why is this so? The blame seem to fall on the women who could afford to break free from an unhappy marriage.
Many divorcee claimed that they get to know themselves better after the divorce and thus have a clearer idea of what they need. Getting marriage is like taking chances. It's a gamble. After all, one can't simply stay single just because you are unable to face the possibility of failure.
The increase in the number of financially independent women with the resources to opt for a 'second life' instead of putting up with a dismal marriage. Just as worrisome was that marital breakdowns were occurring much earlier.
Divorces within five years of marriage accounted for a massive 38 per cent compared with 15 per cent for couples who had been married for over 20 years. This suggested a trend towards second marriages like in the West since the average age for men to tie the knot is 28 while women marry by 26.
Good news for ladies especially those with premenstrual syndrome (PMS). No need for hormone pills. You can diet away your PMS. Here's how. A special diet of six small carbohydrate rich meals a day could offer relief to those suffering from PMS.
According to a British physician, the psychological and physical symptoms suffered by women during the last two weeks of each menstrual cycle are caused by hormonal malfunctions and must be treated with frequent doses of progesterone.
During her study, 53 women who stuck to a every three hour eating plan and an overwhelming 89 per cent reported a reduction in the severity of their symptoms. The mini-meals of complex carbohydrates will keep a steady level of glucose circulating in the blood and help regulate the hormone progesterone. Thus she recommends the diet first before resorting to hormonal treatment for her patients.
Milk is no mere kids' stuff. Research in France shows that calcium and vitamin D in milk not only build bones but could prevent serious hip fractures in older women.
In French study, 1'634 elderly women received calcium and vitamin supplements daily for 18 months. Another similar size group received a placebo (fake pills). The study found that only 21 in the supplemented group had hip fractures compared to 37 in the placebo group. This was a 43 per cent reduction in hip fractures while non-vertebral fracatures were also cut by 32 per cent.
But there's a catch, you need a dozen glasses of milk to match the high calcium and vitamin diet in the study. Still, the researchers are excited because hip fractures only affect women late in life. Besides, nutritionists say we absorb lots of calcium from vegetables like soy beans, broccoli, kale and bok choy.
So it makes sense to bolster our diet now to build up bone density and to protect against serious fracture later.
Have some faith. Rebounds can turn into real love. Sue, a 31 year old met Tom in a coffee bar just a few weeks after the love of her life trampled her heart. "I didn't give Tom my phone number but the following week, he put a personal ad in the local paper looking for me, so i called him and went out with him. He didn't look like someone I would be with and I'd been so hurt by my boyfriend that i didn't know if I liked him.
In fact, he seemed kind of arrogant and he never asked me questions about myself. "It turned out he was being 'sensitive' - he knew I was still hurting from my last relationship. But I waited long time before introducing him to my friends or trusting him. Then slowly I started to really love him. Now he's my best friend and I'm very happy."
