Back up Plans for retrenchment - continue...

Building up your own value when job security diminishes, personal security has to take top priority. If you want to build your career in an organization, then you need to take a quarterly litmus test on the value of your assets.

What difference has your presence at work made? How are your clients' needs better met as a result of your input? How are your clients' needs better met as a result of your input. What have you learnt? Your CV is no longer something you update in order to sell yourself to a new employer. It's something you must constantly ad to in order to sell yourself internally.

Keep learning. Accept this as a necessary condition of employment. And it just does not mean course. it can also mean looking at job offers in terms of what you will learn.

Back up PLANS for retrenchment - Part 1

This year, many of us know of people, be they friends or family members, who have been laid off their jobs. Scary as it may seem, retrenchment is a reality. It can happen anytime to any one of us. Instead of sitting around and wondering what will happen to you in case you're handed a voluntary separation scheme offer or worse still a retrenchment letter, equip yourself with certain work strategies that will give your career resilience.

Increase your employability by ensuring that you develop in ways that make you employable to others. Join professional associations, read business magazines and net work smartly to stop yourself becoming dangerously dependent on just one organization.

Job information is critical in staying well-position. Because downsizing is the word of the moment. It's easy to forget that there are other jobs constantly being created. A survey done recently estimated that 50% of jobs now advertised are completely new positions. Good bets in the next 10 years or so included education, health, leisure, sales and marketing. if your company transfers you to another division, don't dismiss the job just because you don't have the skill. Learn on the job and that will help expand your expertise.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Respect versus popularity, this is a dilemma we all have to face at work sooner or later. It's the old conflict between being professional and being personal. We want to do a good job, but we want to be friends with everyone, to. The truth is, though, you can't always be liked if you do your job properly. And the desire to keep everyone happy can become a weakness, even an Achilles heel.

Worry about what others think makes us reactive when we need to be proactive. At worst, we're so busy playing Pollyanna we lose sight of the demands of the job and our own needs. This is a particular problem area for female professionals. It's a hangover from childhood. We all long to be the most popular girl in the school. Also girls are brought up to try to please and to keep everyone happy, especially men. Later on, this need to be liked gets in the way of career progress. Men at work don't give a thought to what others think so long as they get their own way.

The After-hours survival tips

When working late in the evenings or even the weekends alone, it is wise to think about the health.
To obtain get-up and-go for the extra hours ahead, you'll need extra energy so make sure you have enough to keep you going. Top up with nutritious meal to get all the carbohydrates, proteins and other nutrients you will need to stay healthy.

Try a nutritionally balance food drink. Enjoy either delicious chocolate, lip smacking vanilla or creamy plain flavors, delicious both hot or cold.

What's a late night without music? It motivates the tired mind and soul, so what better time to crank it up than during overtime? It is, however, important to coordinate the tunes with your personal taste and mood as well as those of others in the vicinity of your work area.

Problem identification

How does one analyze a problem situation. One way of looking at a problem is to say that some obstacles are interfering with the attainment of some goals or that some deviation has occurred int eh expected performance or norm.

The first element involved is to identify the norm - actual: no problem. When the norm and the actual are one and the same, there is no problem. When the actual is lower than the norm, however, we have a negative deviation.

When the actual is above the norm, then we have a positive deviation. The first thing we will notice about the deviation is it's effects. However, in order to correct a deviation, we need to find the cause. To do that, we must proceed to a description of the problem.

coming up next.... description of what the problem is and is not.

The ability to deceive

One of the most important qualities in business is the ability to deceive. People who are open, honest and direct about their desires and ambitions are rarely successful in the business world. This is a sad but true, hard fact of commercial combat which have been practiced over and over again. This does not mean that you have to be a lying, cheating, sleaze ball to be good at your job.

It is simply means that you need to have the capacity to be ruthless an single minded in achieving the necessary aims. If blind siding a customer or stabbing a colleague in the back is what it takes to succeed, then so be it. However never do this at the expense of your good reputation. This is tough proposition. it is a very fine line to tread.

Little ways to save

Saving big starts with the little things. Here are 10 painless ways to save big bucks.

Need your cuppa everyday? Instead having a RM6 -a-cup cappuccinos from your upmarket cafes, make your own in the office pantry. You save RM1,440 in a year.

Bring leftover dinners such as fried rice to work and save RM5 on lunch. That's RM1,200.

A glass of soft drink costs RM1.60. Use the water dispenser at work and saveRM384.

Before you plonk down good money for a brand new book, shop around. Drop by second hand bookshop or go to the book-stand and you might find past issues of magazines that are sold only for RM1-3.

Small bottles of toiletries are perfect for traveling. Buy small empty bottles from Watson's and fill them with your favorite toiletries before starting your journey.

Deciding time

If you are deciding on something important, hold it off until midday, advise psychologists at Florida University.

Apparently, we are at out most rational at that time and can weigh the pros and cons of a situation in the most sensible way.

Spend wisely

Make a shopping list and stick to it. Studies show that they really cut down on expensive impulse buys. It can also help to have a snack before you shop. Those pricy biscuits won't look so tempting.

Pay with cash only so that you will know how fast you are spending your money. Keep all receipts and transaction records until you are sure you won't be needing a refund or until the monthly statements are correct.

Write down everything you spend. You will soon notice how your spending snowballs. It also helps you pinpoint where you can cut back for example you may be surprised to find that your dry cleaning bill is much higher than you thought!

Set aside a sum of money right after pay day. Have it direct debited the bank automatically transfer the cash for you very month. Or start stashing away your won cash at 5 per cent and then at 10 per cent of your salary on every pay day. Either way, you won't notice how much money you are stashing away until you check your account at the end of the year!

If you get a pay rise, consider investing it for future projects like your kids' education. After all, you have lived this long without it, perhaps you can live a few more years on your old salary?

Card connection

The next time someone hands you their business card, don't just slip it into your purse and forget about it. You could be missing out on an opportunity to network your way into a new career. So make sure:

• When you're given a card, write on the back where ad when you met the person. Note down how they might be useful to you in the future.

• Jot down any personal details or anecdotes. It can act as an ice breaker the next time you meet.

• If the person is a potential business contact or could help you with a future career move, note it down in your diary to ring them within the week and mention you enjoyed meeting them. Don't be pushy, just polite and direct.
  

The goodness of Procrastination

"Procrastinator!" is the mud ball we throw at people who put off doing what we want them to do when we want them to do it.

It may be time to put in a good word for procrastination. How many deeds would not be better left undone? The bureaucrat, for instance, who never procrastinates - who punctually grinds out the memos and fills out the forms , can become a minor menace to the world and to himself.

Delay , the blinking yellow light is about all that gets us through the literal and figurative intersections of daily life. Procrastination is an accommodation necessary in a crowded world.

Delay from going to war, Delay the criticism of each other is another good thing about procrastination.

So if, like that professional procrastinator Thoreau, you choose "to front only the essential facts of life." we say more power to you and never mind the neighbors at least until tomorrow.

Conversation plus point

Whether it's a casual conversation with your office mates, new acquaintances or during big-time meetings, you can always look and sound professional if you consider these helpful tips...

Always make eye contact and never look away when someone is talking
Occasionally nod to show you are listening
Never ever lose your temper or show that you're bored
If you hear something unbelievable, check the facts first. Don't accept it as the gospel truth.
Try not to give advice unless you're asked to do so
Don't interrupt while the other party is speaking.

Career launch pad

Every young girl's life is dotted with a lot of (to her mind) interesting things. She is worried about examinations and grades, about pimples and split ends, about hair on her legs, about breasts , about her height. She aches to be liked. She wants approval form all quarters. She is worried about appearing and sounding awkward about malign the wrong decisions.

The future appears crammed with choices and every girl knows that she would ultimately ave to decide on something. Every girl wakes up with a jolt and realists that shaving her legs is not the only chore she has to face in life. It is not an easy phase. At age 16, any thing and everything can appear attractive. dreams overlap, interest emerge. The sight of a smart uniform can draw a girl's attention to certain profession, meeting an impeccably groomed business-woman can make a teenager fantasies about building an empire.

Arriving at some definite, clearly etched plan is doubly hard if a daughter has been raised "to be accomplished." At 16, a girl may dance a bit of ballet, play the piano, to be keen about the theater, speak a foreign language, name the generals who fought in which war, know in which part of the world La Paz is. Having made to dabble in many things, she is drawn to as many things.

Lucky is the daughter who has parents who insist on many positive interests but who also manage to help her discover early where she might just excel an be happy. Fortunate is the woman who finds a niche in a chosen field and who in here spare time can play a symphony or restore vase or combat clay soil.

Losing your job

Work is a potential source of worry. This is not only due to the fact that we need it to earn money to support ourselves but also because a large part of our identity and self-esteem is wrapped up in our jobs. we also develop friendships around work. The fact that there are now fewer jobs for life, more contract work and self-employment increase worry.

Communication is very important. If you have any concern at work, it is often better to discuss them with your manager, a colleague you can trust or personnel rather than keeping them bottled up say a stress management consultant, Caroline Raymond.

Taking action to improve your job prospects will also help to ease any worries. make sure your CV is up to date, learn new skills, take advantage of networking opportunities and keep abreast of vacancies. Finally, maintain a balance in your life so that your job isn't the be-a, and end-all. Don't lose touch with friends, keep up hobbies or simply distract yourself by reading a good book int he evenings.

Careers

Most people who seek employment initially think only of the pay packet - landing something that would give them the salary they desire. On the other hand,career they desire. On the other hand, career orientated individuals think of transforming an assigned desk into a ladder up which they can climb, the job becomes a consuming interest, a major preoccupation, a king of battleground where they can prove their strengths.

A job is plain and simple work. you do it and you get paid for it. A career is a job you work harder at so that it can take you further (up), broaden your world, win you recognition and in turn bring you bigger rewards. The best thing that a career can give you is a sense of accomplishment, the fulfilling realization that you have grown in the job, that your mind has improved vastly and that your understanding of the job has sharpened.

Career minded people never stop learning. There is the widespread notion that those who are always talking about promotion and demanding to be recognized are all serious about Career. Not always. There are those who want to get ahead only because getting ahead usually means more money. They forget the high cost of getting ahead and staying ahead ie Hard Work, Dedication, Long Hours, Parties & Picnics Missed, Complaining Mates, Intrigues & Office Politic. In short, a lot of Hassle. Of course there are the rewards for one's efforts and tangible rewards come in the form of special bonuses, extra privileges and titles.

Almost any job can be turned into a career. It is all a matter of attitude and direction. Either you allow a job to carry you and you get bogged down by it or you carry it towards gratifying heights. if you decided to manipulated work to make it spice up the rest of your life, you get yourself a career. Selling, sailing, bookkeeping, fashion designing, cooking, baking, flower arranging, store management, gardening. You choice can bring you untold joys provided you are determined to follow through a pan of action. Whatever it is, you've got to sweat quite a bit.

What about money? Part 3

In negotiation with your potential employer, he or she may do either of two things. Suggest a compromise and offer you fifty percent of the amount in question. Remember that he is a businessman and is apt to feel sore if he does not win even a semblance of areal bargain. It is up to you decide.

Since yo are very raw, I suggest you say YES. After all, if you get to be the hotshot that you think you would eventually be, you would have all the grand time negotiation and re-negotiating with very interested parties. Or your interviewer may say he would think about it and then turn around and hire a second choice for much less. You lose your chance but think about it this way, you have been saved for much a cheap thinker and cheap thinkers are usually dull, unimaginative, style-less employers. There's a better world for a bright, really keyed-up girl like you.

Now if your personal assessment form leaves a bit to be desired, think of you first job as a real training and testing ground. Settle for the opportunity to gain some experience. Then try to polish yourself on the job. When you have gained some polish, you can mer-negotiate. If you find yourself in a place where growth and development are ignored, start looking for a better deal. Give the job a year or two, enough for you to sharpen skills an then voe. However, try to find a place where you can stay a bit longer and form roots. Remember that the fun in having a career is in being able to chart out your working life and it is easier to trace your growth if you are not busy hopping around.

What about money? Part 2

Let say that you have a degree and you have decided to be a copywriter. You find an opening somewhere, no previous experience needed. How nice, you think, it must have been set for you. Please do not rush out and tell the guys tat since you do not have any job experience, it is up to them to decided how much to give you. In most places they ave made up their minds anyway and it is usually less tan what they should honestly pay.

How do you bargain for the extra hundred dollars? Before the interview, make an actual list of the things you can enumerate as your "plus points." For instance,
well-read degree or certificate (if any)typing speed - better than your neighbor's who has a secretarial certificate knowledge of a foreign language (other than English)spelling bee (never gets confused by words like accumulate, commitment, accommodation, omission, etc)If you have examined your plus points honestly and have come up with a high rating, be prepared to bargain. never forget that your interviewers are veterans int eh game (of bargaining) and must have seen a massive turn-over of employees in their time. Show your enthusiasm but do not be overeager that 'spoiling the employer too soon and he is bound to stick to his strict budget. Expect two things, your interviewer will harp on your inexperience negotiating after your probation period hinting that you would get a salary adjustment if you pass the test.

Are you confident about passing the test? Are you out to really do well? Then you can afford to gamble. This is the point where a throw-away line might just win you the day. You can say "Let's us agree on my price which is a hundred dollars more and if you think I'm not shaping up to your standards, you can fire me after the first month or even earlier." Say it only if you are the type who can pull it off casually. Said nervously, a throw away line sounds very painful.

What about money? part 1

In looking for your dream job, or any job that you are about to accept, money is still the key issue. How much must you try to get for the job that you are about to land? It is your first and you have been trained for it. You vow to give it your best, so how much is your all worth?

A common mistake is the pronouncement, "I am just eager to get started. I like the job. I am after the experience." That usually earns peanuts. This is an appalling memory but 80% of my contemporaries told interviewers exactly that when they were being screened for a job. It is likewise an awful truth that not much has change. Young girls still say the same thing, "I just want to gain some experience", settle for a pittance and after three months start being annoyed. Annoyed, they take it out on their jobs, make mistakes which thy shrug of and spend office time going through the classified ads.

Either of two extremes leads to such mess, either the girl is really worth more but was, when applying for the job, so wet behind the ears she was totally ignorant of what approximately she should get or the girl is really raw and may need five years of intense grilling before she gets really polished. BUT after three months of working saw a lot few nice things in display windows, ached to buy them and tech only way to get them is via every employee's favorite; a rise. Neither reason is healthy. But both can be helped.

Try your best to apply for a job that calls for the training you have had and resist getting sidetracked by another job jut because it pays slightly more. Career-minded girls set goals for themselves an are not usually dazzled by minor attractions. The girl who was trained to be a secretary but tries to get into sum other field because of an attractive uniform needs to do some serious re-thinking.

Decide when to delegate

Make a list of the things you have to do. Set aside those that absolutely must be done by you personally. Analyze what tasks are left. It is important that you choose the right person for the job. In todays economic stress, organizations are faced with downsizing, re-engineering and rightsizing. It is important to identify the objective.

Ask yourself which tasks would be performed more efficiently by others. It is crucial to pass on tasks base on the person's ability and experience. If someone else can do the job quicker, better or at a lower cost to the company than you, delegate it, unless it's something you should be learning to do yourself. So if must delegate, it must be well-planned, well-communicate and well-implemented.

Creating a great portfolio

Portfolios. Don't think that only models, artist and graphic designers need them. A portfolio of your past work can make a solid impression on prospective employers. Start with a leather notebook. Inside, encased in plastic or attractively mounted, might be some of the following:

Reports that you have written including proposals, training programmes, analyzes or marketing plans. Letters and memos received from former colleagues or subordinates about projects on which you both worked. Letters of congratulations. Articles by or about you. Contributions to newsletters or in-house magazines and articles you've written even if unpublished.

Your portfolio should include enough material to reflect your unique talents an experience. Don't include anything that is confidential or the property of the company you worked for. If you've just left college or university, your portfolio might include certificates of all the projects that you've participated in. This will impress upon your interviewer that even though you don't have organizational and leadership skills, qualities which are much sought after in the working world.

So while others send in one-sheet resumes that clinically spell out their achievements, your portfolio will demonstrate your achievements and leave a vivid impression of yourself on people.

Introduction

How you react when you're introduced and how you introduce others say a lot about your image. Whether you're the polished career woman on the go or someone who doesn't know the social graces. Memorize these tips and introduce others like a pro! Don't use first names unless the person introduces herself using the first name as in "I'm James." If a senior person addresses you by yours, don't assume you're on a first name basis. Most foreigners frown on being called by their first name.

It is wiser to admit that you have forgotten the name than to call the person by the wrong name. Simply say. "Forgive me, I've forgotten your name. Introduce junior executives to seniors and younger people to older as in Mr. Mathew, this is my assistant, Nicole Baker. Nicole, this is Mr. Mathew, our Managing Director."

When you meet a friend while you're with your colleagues, it's rude to carry on a conversation with her while others stand around doing nothing. Introduce her to the group by saying something like, "I'll like to introduce my colleagues, Mary Brown and George Long. This is Christina Lee. We studied in Harvard together and she is a research manager with an advertising company. When being introduced to someone, always rise ( if you're seated) smile, give your name if necessary and offer your hand. Give a firm handshake, wimpy handshake denotes insecurity.

Dress up!

A successful professional presence calls for a vibrant positive attitude. Complement that with the appropriate body language to communicate the right messages.

Top it up with clothes that enhance your personality and role. Dress to impress. Wear outfit that suits your profession.

Don't overdress. Remember dress code is important.

Stop seeking approval

When we get a promotion, become engaged or are invited on a weekend away with friends, approval is an implicit part of why we enjoy that moment. But if you're so hooked on getting approval that you can't decided anything for yourself, your need for validation from others will erode your self-esteem and confidence.

Stop sugar-coating your opinions. Say what you think rather than saying things you don't mean just to avoid being disliked by others. Remind yourself that what someone else thinks of you has no bearing on who you are.

Don't fish for consensus from others by asking "Don't you think?" at the end of every sentence. Choose an outfit, video or desert without asking for guidance from anybody.

Value your assets

Asked what aspects of ourselves we'd like to change, most of us have no difficulty chronicling a list of short-falls. As a result, we often end up in a perpetual state of self-loathing caused by our negative self-talk.

Next time you find yourself thinking "I'm stupid", "I'm fat", or "I'm useless", counter your self-talk with something positive such as "I'm a king person", "I'm a great mother", or I have beautiful eyes!".

Accept compliments with a simple thanks, rather than dismissing them by saying something like "I only got the job because I was lucky". Don't encourage others to have a low opinion of you by putting yourself down in front of them.

Love your body

Are you frequently self-conscious about your appearance? Does dissatisfaction with certain body parts dominate your thoughts? It's a sobering fact that 95 percent of women think they look 25 person of women think they look 25 percent bigger than they actually are.

According to Dr Rita Freedman, in her book Body Love, if you "Try to look at your reflection through the eyes of an adoring companion or nurturing parent, you will be more likely to a appreciate your body as it is. It's not beauty but self-esteem which builds, body-love, so you need to set modest goals about your appearance.

"Exercise body love. Get rid of all the clothes you've been holding on to just in case you ever manage to lose those 10 kilos. Weigh yourself once a week so your body image stops going up or down daily according to minor shifts on the scales. Engage in a realistic exercise programme at least three times a week and target those body parts you're most dissatisfied with. When you're feeling really down on your looks, do your make-up, fix your hair and put on an outfit at makes you feel drop-dead gorgeous.

Examine the women around you, in the supermarket or at the office. Notice how they don't look like supermodels? Find something attractive in each woman's appearance, whether it be a nice pair of eyes, gorgeous hair or lovely legs. Then take time to look int he mirror to remind yourself of your own beauty spots.

Self-Love

Try to avoid comparisons. Just because the ladies you know look slim, beautiful and driving the Mercedes Benz or the latest Lexus doesn't mean their life is happy. It's a mistake to think everything would be better if only you were someone else. "This brings about a constant internal battle between our desires and our frustrations at not getting them" says Frank Faller in his best-selling book Re-Create Yourself. "but the open person knows that status is fragile, whereas human potential is limitless." In short, everyone has individual talents and you're no exception.

Write down a realistic wish-list of personal and life desires, which includes short-term, medium and long-range goals. Your list might say anything from "Get in shape" to "Go on holiday".Pick a few goals to focus on and divide them into sub-tasks. Under "getting in shape" you might write "jog for half an hour three times a week". Under "Go on holiday" you might suggest "dropping into a travel agent to pick up brochures".Make each goal as detailed and specific as you can and set time frames, so you feel motivated to get moving.Once you're on the way to fulfilling your own dreams, you'll no longer find yourself paling in comparison to everyone else.

What grief represents?

I'm sure many of us have experienced grief at least once in our life time. Grief has many faces. People often wonder whether their reaction to the loss of a loved one is normal. For those who have gone through this yourself, may find it helpful to hear what grief represents.

Grief Can Be Physical - many people feel a physical sense of loss and even physical pain. Besides tears, grief can bring on a sense of physical emptiness, a loss of appetite or heaviness or pain in your chest. It may interfere with your ability to sleep or concentrate, make you forgetful or give you a sense of restlessness or loss.

Grief Can Be Confusing - Conflicting emotions arise when someone dies. You may experience intense love, anger and resentment or guilt about wanting to continue living yourself. You may feel overwhelmed by your feelings, even the smallest ones but at the same time feel very disconnected from the experience of your loss or from other people.

Grief Can Seem Overwhelming - Being preoccupied with everything about the one you have lost is very common. You may think about this person all the time, dream about him or her, suddenly feel overwhelmed by the pain of the loss or even feel that he or she is still alive.
You may feel regret about things that did or did not happen and start remembering things about the person that you thought were long forgotten.

Grief Brings Uncertainties - Questioning what you are doing with your life; not being interested in things that usually engage you and feeling suddenly angry or sullen about others are all normal reactions to loss.

CAUGHT InThe WEB!!!

My husband of 13 years has been using the computer for about ten months. He started playing checkers before moving online. Now all he does is sit at the computer. What shall I do?"
"He told me our marriage was over about a week after he met a cyber lover. We had enjoyed a wonderful relationship until he started getting online. Is there any hope?"
These cries for help were posted on an Internet addiction message board by two 'cyber widows' and they are not alone. Lives are being ruined by Internet addiction.

According to psychologist, there are five type of Internet addition.
1. Cyber Sexual, addiction to chat rooms or cyber porn.
2. Cyber Relationships, replacing real partners and friendships with those made in chat
rooms or newsgroups and having cyber affairs.
3. Net Compulsions, addiction to online gambling, auctions or shopping.
4. Information Overload, compulsive web surfing.
5. Computer Addiction, especially to computer programmes and games.
Research shows that middle-aged women and unemployed people are the most vulnerable to Internet addiction, while men are most likely to suffer addiction to cybersex and online games.
"On the Internet, you can conceal your real name, age, occupation and physical appearance. Internet users, especially those who are lonely and insecure in real-life situation, take that freedom and quickly pour out their strongest feelings, darkest secrets and deepest desires."
Cyber affairs and using the Internet to avoid relationship issues can be very destructive to a partnership says relationships experts.
It's a very powerful place for people who are socially anxious because they can control their personalities and hide any embarrassment. Some users become so engaged with the screen that they ignore their body's signals.
These are the tell tale signs of a cyber addiction. They are:
1. using online service everyday.
2. losing track of time spent on the Net.
3. going out less and less.
4. eating in front of the computer.
5. denying spending too much time on the Internet, even when others complained.
6. checking for e-mails constantly.
7. logging on when busy at work.
8. sneaking online when alone.
9. experiencing a sense of well-being or euphoria while at the computer.
10. craving more and more time to log on.
11. neglecting family and friends.
12. feeling empty, depressed and irritable when not at the computer.
13. lying about activities to employers, friends and family.
14. having problems concentrating at work or at school.

Well, are we OR are we not considered a cyber addict. Come to think of it, we blog everyday and we spent more than an hour on the internet. So, what do you think?

For those over 40 years Old...

Live in the here and now , not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle and change the things of today. Yesterday is gone and Tomorrow may never come.

Today is the most important day of your life . You have a full 24 hours to achieve great accomplishments. So make the most of it.

Yesterday is gone and you cannot turn back the clock. Do not dealt on yesterday's glory for it is history. It is just like technology of yesterday. The black and white television is no longer in demand, so no matter how great it was, it is not in use anymore. The past is past and you should let it be.
Tomorrow is the future and nobody knows what holds in the future. Like the present, it is no use planning for 10 years ahead for tomorrow, the environment may change or a new technology may render the present totally redundant.

What matters most is TODAY , for it is TODAY that you are able to do something for yourself, for your love ones and for all.

SMILE!

A smile cost nothing but creates much. It enriches those who receive without impoverish in those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes last forever.

None are so rich they can get along without it and none so poor but both are richer for its benefits. It creates happiness in the home, foster good will in a business and is the countersign of friends.

It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad and nature's best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody until it is given away.

Nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give.

Relationship breakdown

These issues concern us because we invest so much time, effort and personal security in a relationship. If a woman has low self-esteem, she may believe her partner will leave her for someone better. Sometimes this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy as she drives her partner away by becoming too 'clingy'.

Ask yourself if there's evidence the relationship is going wrong and tell your partner how you feel. According to relationship counsellor Denise Knowles, "Talk to your partner frequently and honestly about your relationship - airing the good and bad points." If you can't find any reason for your concern, you may just need to boost your self-esteem, perhaps by taking an assertiveness course. It may also help to look back at your own life to pinpoint the root of the problem, for instance did you have a stable home life? Did your parents fight a lot? Knowing will help you deal with them. If you can't do this alone, a counsellor will be able to help.

Exercise Your Eyes!

Want to improve the look of your eyes (and eyesight)? Try giving them a workout. If you're into yoga, then you're probably already practicing some eye exercises which can help reduce the appearance of bags and delay wrinkles. You may want to consider yoga for other health benefits as well but consider the following basic exercises that will strengthen the eye muscles an increase their flexibility.

• Gently tone the muscles of the eyes by pressing two fingers on each side of your head at the temples. With you fingers still on the sides of your head, try opening and closing your eyes rapidly. Repeat five times.
• Sit upright with your eyes closed and relaxed. Keep your eyes closed while lifting your eyebrows and stretching your eyelids down as far as possible. Keep in this position for five counts, relax and repeat five times.
• Sit up right, looking straight ahead, with you eyes open. Look up, then down while keeping your head still. Repeat 10 times. Then look left and right, repeat 10 times.
• Rotate the eyes in a circle from right to left and bottom to top. Reverse the rotation. If you find that your eye muscles are stiff, perform the rotation only a few times at first. Then gradually increase the number of rotations.
• Looking at the tip of the nose, slowly look up along the right side of the nose and then the left side. Glance back and forth between viewing the right side and the left side of the nose. Starting at the tip of the nose, look up at your eyebrows and then back to the tip. Use your imagination to invent other eye exercises.
  

Your money for your life?

You dress your age and act your age but are you as 'with it' when it comes to handling your cash? Money is money is money. The more you earn and the more you save, the better, right? Not really, money is more like a toolbox and if you don't use the right tool at the right time, you can be sure all kinds of expensive breakdowns, accidents and leaks will happen along your journey through life and when you least expect it. Well recession is here.

The only thing that's constant in life is change. So with the different situations that arise at every stage in our life, how then can we prepare for these. How do we handle our money smartly so that we might be able to fulfill that dream of retiring at the grand young age of 45 and able to spend lazy days at cafes, working on the first novel and sipping lattes.

No matter what your age, you should be prepared to take the proverbial stock market 'Bull' by its horns and 'Bear' in mind what you need to do whether you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond. Society's development has a lot of do with the necessity for money smarts. Recent statistics show that more females than males were widowed due to women's longer life expectancy rates. While divorce rates have doubled, women are less likely than men to get re-married and more likely to be single parents (imagine running a household on your own income and bringing up kids at the same time). What's more, one in five females above age 30 is single, so don't wait for Prince Charming to come waving his Platinum card.

The trick lies in learning how to plug the holes that could drain the contents of your wallet, so to speak. Or as they say (about things unrelated to finance, but which, funnily enough, also applies to money), "It's not the size or age that matters, it's how you use it".

Ways to avoid stress.

According to professional stress consultants, the first step to beat stress is cut down on the caffeine. It keeps people on an emotional roller-coaster as they lurch from caffeine hit to caffeine hit. Instead drink lots of water.

• For instant relief, keep a small bottle of famous stress-beaters such as lavender essential oil and use them when the going gets tough.
• Learning to breath properly. When we are stressed, we often hold out breath. Deep breathing is essential. Close your eyes and switch off for a minute, breathing deeply and calmly while you focus on yourself.
• Learn to say 'NO'. Practise "no", a word that women especially, seem to have trouble articulating.'
• Keep an uncluttered environment. An untidy work space makes you feel like your mind's cluttered and leads to a feeling of lack of control. spending just a few minutes each day sorting, filing throwing things away can clear your head and send stress levels plummeting. Don't react so impulsively.
  
• Don't watch the news. Bad and distressing events on the news often makes you feel stressed and helpless. Read a book instead.
  
• Get enough sleep. A priority. Stress and insomnia can be a vicious circle but if yo learn some end-of-day wind-down techniques that will help you to sleep better, you are likely to find your stress level improves enormously.

Good stress

Some stress professionals suggested learning tricks for turning life's hurdles into opportunities. In fact, we all need a certain amount of stress in order to function well. Andrew Slaby, MD, American author of several stress handbooks, observes; "The fires that lead to burnout also fuel success. Conversely, the formula for success can be the same as a formula for nervous breakdown. The difference is your perspective."

Dr.David Lewis, a stress-busting psychologist who has run workshops for companies such as IBM, explains that there are two kinds of stress; good (for which the word eustress was coined) and bad stress (or distress). "If the phone rings, it's stress. If it's a bill collector calling, it's distress. If it's some offering you a better job,it's good stress. We need some stress to get us going ,but not so much that stop us functioning."

Illnesses cause by stress

According to Anne Woodham, author of Beating stress at work, "In the UK, an estimated 270,000 people take time off every day because of stress0erlated illness, a cumulative cost in sick pay and lost production of around 7 billion pound a year and rising. These are just reported cases.

Doctors' surgeries are filled with sufferers from countless illnesses that often fall into the category of 'stress-related' like high blood pressure, anxiety, ulcers, depression, tension, exhaustion, insomnia, diabetes, eczema. PMT can also worsen when we're under high pressure. Ultimately, in fact, it's believed that stress can depress the immune system, leaving us prey to every bout of cold and 'flu (or more serious complaints) many of us manage conveniently, to schedule those illnesses for our free time, a syndrome that's recognized by doctors. Work till Friday, get a cold on Saturday, back to work Monday..

There are those brave enough to risk black marks against their names for daring to complain while their colleagues put up with equally stressful workloads. But suing your boss could become the latest bandwagon. According to Anne, "stress occurs when life's out of control and suing your boss is within your power." Some stress professionals suggested learning tricks for turning life's hurdles into opportunities.

Stress Out!

This was supposed to be the decade we finally got to put our feet up. Discovered hobbies. Found ourselves with time on our hands. And it didn't happen. Just try to think of a woman who isn't suffering from a bad case of too much to do, too little time. According to Anne Woodham, author of Beating Stress At Work, it's worse for women, "because we have to juggle two roles. A woman might have a high-flying job but it's likely she then has to go home and run a house and the whole thing can fall apart because the nanny's sick. Even if you're not actually doing the caring, you're organizing it. It's very common for women to feel like they're not fulfilling any one role to the best of their abilities but instead being spread around like a very thick layer of margarine."

Another factor, women may feel they have to perform better and try harder to prove they really were the right choice for the job even if that pressure exists only in their heads. As a result, we are all, to a degree, the girl who can't say no.

Everyone has a personal stress limit beyond which cracking the whip will lead to burnout. The number one cause of stress for people working in tech office is , the office. In a survey of over 5,000 office workers in 16 countries, conducted by Harris Research for Associates for Research into the Science of Enjoyment, on in five people said they've taken time of work through stress. One in three said they were currently under stress at work an nearly half said the amount of stress had worsened in the last two years. work was higher up the list stress-triggers than money worries (29 percent) and family worries (20 per cent).

Achieving your goals - part 2

If you've never made goals in your life, it's not too late? If you find that you can never stick to long-term planning, start training yourself in short term planning. It could be as simple as assigning yourself one or two tasks that you have to do everyday and jot it down in your diary. Make sure you achieve it! Jot down little details like the steps you took and the time taken to accomplish the tasks. Little accomplishments like these will be strong incentives for you to go to other things.

Perhaps you can plan for two weeks in advance and then gradually increase it until you've become quite an expert at planning for a whole year! Review your goals constantly. If you've been unsuccessful in some, it doesn't mean you're a failure. it could be because the goals were too ambitious and the time set was too short.

Redefine your goals and start all over again. Write you goals in a small card and carry it with you so that you'll be sure to see it everyday. Being constantly reminded of them will spur you to work harder to achieve the goals. Also remember that once you've decide, start working towards them from today and don't wait for tomorrow!

Be inspired by others

In related to my previous post on setting goals and taking charge of your life so that you can be a winner with the right frame of mind. Well, you can also be motivated through the inspiration of others.

Take the braille system for example. There was a blind boy in France named Louis Braille who dreamed of inventing a system that would enable blind people like him to read and write. he invented the braille system which is used by million of blind pole all over the world. Great ideas and inventions always stared with people who had visions and worked hard to make them come true.

Once you've got your goals sorted out, try visualizing them. They become a reality in the mind and you are psyched up to attain it. Reading biographies of successful people can be inspirational. Abraham Lincoln endured many failures before he finally became the President of the United States. when you read his so try, you do not remember the failures. You only remember his spirit which never gave up.

Motivational books like Stephen Covey's Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, M.Scott Peck's The Road Less Travelled and napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich give insight on how to plan strategies to achieve your ambition.

Some people believe that destiny is in our hands while others believe that fate decides everything. There is something to think about in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, "The fault, dear Brutus is not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings "Where do you stand?

Achieving your goals - part 1

Here's an expert advise. Once you've gone through your goals, set a timetable. How long will you take to achieve those goals - one year, five years or maybe more. Let's assume you have five goals. Ask yourself whether you can achieve all those goals in one year or will it take several years? Can one of the goals be reached earlier than others? Have a short-term and long-term goals. The short-term goals could be for one year and long-term goals could cover a period of five years and more. The most difficult stage is planning your actions to achieve that goal. You have to pay attention to details.

Take this for example, your goal is to go overseas to further your education but your parents aren't rich. Plan where you are going to find the money. Can you rely on some financial help from relatives? Do you have enough saving of your own or do you have to work for several years? Will you be too old by then? Can you get a bank loan?

Finally, ask yourself, with the dire financial straits that you are in, does this goal seem too unrealistic at this moment. Are there any alternatives, like an external degree perhaps?

Positive thinking

While affirmation is self-talk to make you feel good, positive thinking is as process where you train yourself to look at things in a positive way. if our thoughts are positive, they will be a precursor to positive feelings and actions. But there are times when our feelings are down because we have not maintained positive actions and as such, no matter how much we chant to our selves,"think positive', it will not necessarily help bring positive feelings.

Make it a habit to accomplish or participate in at least one activity which you really enjoy and want to do. It could be anything, whether a telephone conversation with a girlfriend or gardening. such an activity triggers off good feelings which become a catalyst to telling yourself in your thoughts that 'I feel wonderful" and as such, a chain reaction is created.

Once you start feeling positive and doing positive actions, you will be able to look at the good points of others. Instead of complaining that your boss is fussy, you could perhaps look at it another way and say that he is a perfectionist and working under him has taught you to aim for high standards. Once you start looking at the good in others, you become a positive power point.
People usually like to be around those who emit a lot of positive feelings. It makes them feel good. But if you act as though you are the prophet of doom, people will start avoiding you.

If you are the type who finds it hard to see the good in others, try this simple exercise. Start a 'good rumor campaign' where you make it a point to say something nice about the people around you at least twice a week. Once you start this, you will find that it becomes easier to see the good in others.

Setting goals

Every time you open any book on self-improvement, everyone emphasizes, everyone emphasizes the importance of having goals. A survey done in the United States showed that the top three percent of successful businessmen and corporate executives had their goals written down.

Five to 10 per cent had a rough idea of what they wanted, whereas the rest never had any goals and just went along with the tide. We have at one time or other set goals for ourselves too. When we were young, many of us probably wanted to be a doctor or lawyer or live in a big house with 10 servants. I remember that I wanted to be a famous actor when I was young. So what happened to us now? We set our goals but never did anything to make them come true.

According to expert, setting goals is not just a matter of thinking what we want to become or do. It is about planning and working towards making those goals come true. Write down your goals on a piece of paper and examine them. Bear two things in mind when you write your goals; are they really necessary? (Do you really need 10 servants) Once you start putting them on paper you'll be surprised how many of them aren't important.

Affirmations

In wanting to improve yourself you must believe in three things: "I can change", "I am going to do so today" and "I'm going to do it step by step."

This where affirmation comes in. Remember the story of the little train which managed to pull several coaches up the hill despite its small size? The little train kept say to itself, "I think I can, I think I can..." and finally it did. This story teaches you that by constantly tellign yourself that you ca succeed, you will!

Affirmations are positive sayings and thoughts which make one feel good. According to a psychologist, affirmations are important part of our self-talk and belief system. "If we do not believe that we can do something or achieve something in terms of our minds, then what others say will not have any consequences." How do affirmations work towards boosting your self-image?

According to scientist, the brain can be programmed to think according to th messages that are constantly planted in the mind. By constantly saying affirmations, you help your mind to break the pattern of thinking negative thoughts. This of course, does not happen overnight. It will take some time before you begin to feel the a effect of affirmations in your mind and through your actions.

Business idea

A basic idea for a business could come from a hobby or special interest. Or, it could be a spin-off from your present occupation. Many successful businesses also come from the question, "why isn't there a...?" or "Why must this be so expensive? Couldn't it be made more affordable?"

A classic case is that of the Memory Land cards. Many were whining that cards with nice wordings were so expensive because most of them were imported. Then someone went and id something about it and of course, became a successful entrepreneur. An idea of an enterprise could also come when one sees a new way of deign ordinary thins or observes a need for a certain service. Technological advances or changes in society also open up avenues.

Importance of self-esteem

Chinese New Year is just around the corner. It will be the year of the Rat. For Chinese that believe in Feng Shui, they will try their best to follow the Feng Shui method of ushering the Chinese New Year so as to enhance the best sector for prosperity and wealth. Others make New year resolutions. I am tired of making New Year resolutions which I don't really keep. Some believe that their life is controlled by forces that are beyond them. Are you?

Many of us go through life without any proper planning and leave everything to chance and good fortune. Don't sit around and wait for things to happen instead, make things happened for you! The beginning of the year is a good time to re-examine your life, review past mistakes and plan for the future. You can start making the difference by staring with yourself. According to Richard Ritchie,a lecturer at the Silva Method of Mind Control, "You have to learn how to change your self-image. If you can't love yourself, how can you be expected to see good things in others?" So how do you see yourself?

A good self-image is the corner-stone of a person's success. You may have the talent and intelligence to succeed but if you see yourself as a loser, then no matter what you do, you'll always be one. As clinical psychologist Ms Kana Kanagasingam explained, "Our thoughts are very much associated with our feelings." Low self-esteem can be destructive. It increases feelings of insecurity, paranoia and unhappiness. In extreme cases it can lead to aggression and other negative behaviors like alcoholism.

Other people's negative perception of yourself can also hurt your self-esteem. Don't believe in people's assumption of yourself especially the negative ones which you know are not true. There are ways to increase your self-esteem. First, you have to be honest with yourself. What do you think are your good and bad points? Only if you are consciously aware that there are hang-ups and issues, can you confront them and start thinking of ways to solve the problems.

Making A Million

Many of us dream of having a million bucks in the bank. We wonder how some people seem to achieve it quite simply.

Well, the Dreamer's Guide to Becoming A millionaire by James Matthison lists five ways to increase your chances of becoming super-rich.

1. Mix with rich people. Most millionaires get tips form others on how to make cash. remember the movie Sabirna? Her father, the chauffeur, made millions by picking up tips from his employer.
2. Save some money. That is the basis of making money. You need money to make more money.
3. Know your way around personal finance and the money market. If you don't know the difference between a fixed deposit and a current account, you'll never make money.
4. Be willing to gamble. Know which collectibles make money. Modern paintings, sculptures and hand-woven silk carpets do. Jewelery doesn't.
   

I am getting a divorce!

Married today, divorce tomorrow. Hollywood celebrities are doing it. No big deal. People I know are getting divorce even at the elderly age of 56. Friends and relative have gone through divorce.
Once a taboo thing in Asian countries, but as we adapt more Western culture in our lives, the word divorce is not a 'big' issue among couples any longer. The number of divorces is becoming high. Why is this so? The blame seem to fall on the women who could afford to break free from an unhappy marriage.

Many divorcee claimed that they get to know themselves better after the divorce and thus have a clearer idea of what they need. Getting marriage is like taking chances. It's a gamble. After all, one can't simply stay single just because you are unable to face the possibility of failure.

The increase in the number of financially independent women with the resources to opt for a 'second life' instead of putting up with a dismal marriage. Just as worrisome was that marital breakdowns were occurring much earlier.

Divorces within five years of marriage accounted for a massive 38 per cent compared with 15 per cent for couples who had been married for over 20 years. This suggested a trend towards second marriages like in the West since the average age for men to tie the knot is 28 while women marry by 26.

Killing two birds with one stone!

Good news for ladies especially those with premenstrual syndrome (PMS). No need for hormone pills. You can diet away your PMS. Here's how. A special diet of six small carbohydrate rich meals a day could offer relief to those suffering from PMS.

According to a British physician, the psychological and physical symptoms suffered by women during the last two weeks of each menstrual cycle are caused by hormonal malfunctions and must be treated with frequent doses of progesterone.

During her study, 53 women who stuck to a every three hour eating plan and an overwhelming 89 per cent reported a reduction in the severity of their symptoms. The mini-meals of complex carbohydrates will keep a steady level of glucose circulating in the blood and help regulate the hormone progesterone. Thus she recommends the diet first before resorting to hormonal treatment for her patients.

Ladies, Drink milk now!

Milk is no mere kids' stuff. Research in France shows that calcium and vitamin D in milk not only build bones but could prevent serious hip fractures in older women.

In French study, 1'634 elderly women received calcium and vitamin supplements daily for 18 months. Another similar size group received a placebo (fake pills). The study found that only 21 in the supplemented group had hip fractures compared to 37 in the placebo group. This was a 43 per cent reduction in hip fractures while non-vertebral fracatures were also cut by 32 per cent.

But there's a catch, you need a dozen glasses of milk to match the high calcium and vitamin diet in the study. Still, the researchers are excited because hip fractures only affect women late in life. Besides, nutritionists say we absorb lots of calcium from vegetables like soy beans, broccoli, kale and bok choy.

So it makes sense to bolster our diet now to build up bone density and to protect against serious fracture later.

Make romance work - 3

Have some faith. Rebounds can turn into real love. Sue, a 31 year old met Tom in a coffee bar just a few weeks after the love of her life trampled her heart. "I didn't give Tom my phone number but the following week, he put a personal ad in the local paper looking for me, so i called him and went out with him. He didn't look like someone I would be with and I'd been so hurt by my boyfriend that i didn't know if I liked him.

In fact, he seemed kind of arrogant and he never asked me questions about myself. "It turned out he was being 'sensitive' - he knew I was still hurting from my last relationship. But I waited long time before introducing him to my friends or trusting him. Then slowly I started to really love him. Now he's my best friend and I'm very happy."

Making romance work 2

Take an emotional inventory. You've done your research on this guy, so you feel you know him. You've kept your distance both emotionally and physically, so you've begun to think you can let your guard down a little.

Now, you need to take another close look - this time, at your own emotions. Taking stock, especially in a rebound relationship, will help you get a clear idea of exactly where the romance is headed, if anywhere.

Making romance work!

You're still reeling from your last romance, but this new guy seems so special. Should you take a risk?

Before you even let yourself get excited at the prospect of a new romance, figure out who the hell this guy is. Do it by watching him carefully and by asking him questions.

Get to know his attitudes and history and let him get to know you. The longer you hold off on sex, the better.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Arlene Kagle offers this metaphor; "walk in the way you'd walk into Bosnia. There are land mines here and you don't want to step on them. Take a step" Don't see him every night after you first met and if that works out, take another half-step."
If you start to feel addicted,talk to your friends. Pull back.